<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Tricksters, Merchants, Thieves by surprisepink</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28363116">Tricksters, Merchants, Thieves</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/surprisepink/pseuds/surprisepink'>surprisepink</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Flirting, Horny Fluff, M/M, Mischief, No Smut, Sexual Fantasy, Spanking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:29:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28363116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/surprisepink/pseuds/surprisepink</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There are consequences to stealing from the boatman of the Styx.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charon/Hermes (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>184</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hades Game Holiday Gift Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tricksters, Merchants, Thieves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanatamago/gifts">Hanatamago</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Gift exchange fic for Hana! Her prompt was:</p><blockquote>
  <p>Hermes, god of thieves, steals something from Charon. Hermes either gets away with it because Charon is sweet on him, or Charon gets back at him in some way - can be SFW or NSFW, go nuts :)<br/></p>
</blockquote>I went with the SFW route—mostly. Hope you enjoy and happy holidays!
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charon might take pride in his stoicism, if he saw it as something to be proud of. But any pride he may have is in his work, in his steadfast devotion to the realm, and in his ability to keep Hypnos in line despite visiting the House only once every millennium or so.</p><p>Mortals fear the sight of Charon, and even the other gods are seem largely uninterested in him. As long as he’s doing his job, there’s nothing to be concerned about. And he <i>always</i> does his job.</p><p>And then there’s Hermes: the exception to every rule.</p><p>At first, they hadn’t taken to each other, what with how different they were: Hermes was the loud to Charon’s quiet, the breakneck pace to his slow and steady one. But by the by, Charon came to learn that as flighty as he could seem, his professional associate took his job far more seriously than most of the rest of the gods of Olympus—and that, in Charon’s eyes, was all that was needed to forge a bond of mutual respect.</p><p>Hermes is full of surprises; that their respect has blossomed into <i>affection</i> was only the first of many. The second was that for perhaps the first time in his existence, Charon felt the same way about him.</p><p>If Charon had a heart, he would have said that Hermes wormed his way into it quickly after that. He’s certainly provided a happy distraction from Charon’s routine, which seems a lot duller when he’s alone these days. Hermes is well aware of that, it seems, and as of late he’s enjoyed pushing his luck. Coming from anyone else, Charon would be beyond irritated by his quirky signs of affection—swiping Charon’s hat, pinching his cheeks, talking incessantly even when there’s nothing at all to talk about—but when Hermes does it, Charon responds only with an affectionate groan.</p><p>He’s still getting used to it all: the way Hermes makes thinly-veiled excuses to come to the underworld; how he calls Charon <i>handsome</i> and <i>thoughtful</i> and even <i>sweet</i>; how each time they meet, he finds new ways to tease him. Charon should have expected nothing less from getting involved with a trickster god. He’s not fond of being teased, usually, but coming from Hermes, it’s not so bad.</p><p>Charon returns to his shop after some time away this day or night or somewhere in between. All is quiet, aside from the faint hum that always seems to permeate this particular corner of the underworld. Everything ought to be in its place, as always, for even the fiercest monsters of Tartarus know better than to disturb Charon’s wares.</p><p>Still, something is missing: a sack of obols.</p><p>Despite the size of his inventory, spread among countless places throughout the underworld, Charon knows precisely where each and every item is. He’s not the god of commerce—that’s also Hermes, come to think of it—but he might as well be with the talent he’s cultivated for shopkeeping.</p><p>He’d thought that only one being in the entire underworld is enough of a fool to move his things, most of all his <i>coin</i>. But Zagreus isn’t here yet unless he’s found some new boon to cloak his presence, which seems doubtful.</p><p>And yet. The sack is not here. Charon lets out a low groan, almost anguished, when he walks to the nook where he left them and searches under various bits and bobs for his hard-earned obol. It’s not as though he <i>needs</i> them, but it’s the principal of the thing. What sort of a businessman is he if he allows even a single coin to go unaccounted for?</p><p>From behind him, there comes a familiar giggle, but nobody is there when he turns around. He walks toward the sound, already starting to put the pieces together. Zagreus may have been the only one bold enough to steal from him <i>before</i>, but there is someone else that might have gotten the idea, lately.</p><p>Another sound comes from behind him. The source of it must have been quick as a jackrabbit to sneak around him so easily. That confirms Charon’s suspicions, especially when he hears a tapping sound, something like a hand against a wall, several times in quick succession.</p><p>It’s intentional, meant to get his attention. And it does.</p><p>“Haaaangh?”</p><p>“Haaangh to you too, friend!”</p><p>Hermes is grinning ear to ear when Charon turns to see him. It’s a smile that always brightens his mood—except now.</p><p>Charon thrusts out his hand, wiggles his fingers in a hand-it-over gesture. “Khhhhh... rrrrrngghhh.”</p><p>“Now, now, where would be the fun in just handing it over? I could lie and say I don’t even <i>have</i> your money, but—well, I don’t think you’d buy that, you’re not dumb.” Indeed, he has the sack in his hand, and the coins in it jingle as he shakes it a few times. “But what I can say is this: make me!”</p><p>“Raaauuugh!”</p><p>Charon’s groans are long and low, but any anger in them is halfhearted at best. Hermes isn’t a fool, either. He’s skilled enough to steal from Charon, and smart enough to know that he’s the only one Charon will let get away with it without a fight.</p><p>Mostly.</p><p>Charon swipes his oar at Hermes, far away enough that it won’t hit him. Hermes, a grin still on his face, barely twitches. It’s a game to him, a way to enjoy getting under Charon’s skin while knowing he’ll be safe from any real consequences. Leave it to the god of tricksters to walk the thin line between Charon’s anger and affection, as always.</p><p>“Gotta try harder than that!”</p><p>Another swipe of the oar, closer this time, but still not making contact. Hermes laughs, and the moment Charon is done he flies over to him, hovering just above eye level. He dangles the sack in front of Charon’s face with a mischievous glint in his eye.</p><p>“Aww, come on. I know you can hit me, big boy.”</p><p>“Hauh?”</p><p>He tucks the sack into his chiton, then plants a kiss right where Charon’s nose would be if he had one. “I’ve been naughty,” he murmurs, voice dropping to a more husky tone. “Maybe there’s something else you can do with that oar of yours.”</p><p>There are advantages, Charon thinks, to not showing emotions on his face the way his partner always does.</p><p>Hermes has always been eager to bed him, moreso than he would have ever expected anybody to be, and least of all an Olympian. Charon shares his enthusiasm, though not his experience, and though he’s never tried it he’s <i>familiar</i> with what Hermes is suggesting. He knows enough about mortal life to figure it out. More people die during sex than his brothers might like to admit.</p><p>Charon shakes his head. Two can play at this game.</p><p>“What?” says Hermes.</p><p>“Nnnrgghhhhh,” Charon replies, and taps Hermes’ side with the oar with as gentle of a touch as he can manage. “Aunnngh.”</p><p>“Hey! You know that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>Now that the suggestion’s been planted, it’s only natural to imagine what could come next. Hermes is strong, and it takes special equipment to truly bind a god, but he’d be happy to play along with whatever they could improvise. The underworld is vast; it would be easy enough to find a private spot, somewhere with a nice firm metal gate to tie Hermes to. He’d probably enjoy the play-acting of it, perhaps writhe around a bit in mock distress.</p><p>(“Oh no!” it’s too easy to imagine Hermes saying in a voice that’s not quite convincing. “I’ve been trapped by the Stygian boatman. What punishment could he possibly choose for my transgressions?”)</p><p>From there, it would be satisfying indeed to strike Hermes’ pert ass, to hear him cry out in pain and pleasure alike with each smack of the oar. To leave a few marks, and to know that when Charon was through with him, Hermes wouldn’t be able to fly straight for a little while.</p><p>Curious as he is to see it, Charon resists the urge to indulge his associate. It would be giving him what he wants, and Hermes has to learn a lesson here. Besides, watching him pout is satisfying in its own way.</p><p>“Ggggghhhhuuuuuuaa,” Charon says, both a second request and a warning. He reaches out his hand, expecting Hermes to comply, but instead of the familiar weight of coins, it’s Hermes’ lips on his hand, pressing a teasing kiss to his palm. Then another on his wrist, and a third on his arm. Hermes never does things by halves, least of all when he’s showing his affection, playing a prank, or both.</p><p>It’s easy to take Hermes’ chin in his hand and tilt it forward. Easier still to pull Hermes’ face toward his—the eager god is happy to swoop in closer—and bring their mouths together. Their faces don’t quite fit the way they would if Charon’s was more like a mortal, but neither of them has any intention of letting a silly thing like that stop them from kissing as best as they can. Charon breathes out and, in turn, Hermes breathes in deep, letting Charon’s smoke fill him.</p><p>“Mmm, better than ambrosia,” Hermes murmurs as they break apart. “I could do that with you forever, you know that, right? But I don’t have all day, and <i>you</i> have to really punish—”</p><p>Charon cuts him off with the jingle of coins.</p><p>“When did you take that back?”</p><p>“Rrrgh, haaaaah. Sssssss.”</p><p>“I’m supposed to be the quick one here, you know this. But fine! You win, my beautiful boatman.”</p><p>Charon nods, satisfied to have his coins back. Satisfied even more, though not surprised, to have won against the god of thieves himself.</p><p>“Still have some time to kill though!” Hermes says, though he never has time to <i>kill</i>. Neither of them does; they make time regardless. “Got any ideas?”</p><p>Charon tucks the sack into his robes, eyeing his partner up and down. He has a few things in mind, now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Find me on my <a href="https://twitter.com/surprisepink_">fic twitter</a> or my <a href="https://twitter.com/seraphknights">regular twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>